Miss Milly’s Revenge

8 Aug

So, true to form. Instead of sitting here on this sultry hot evening in NYC running analyses for my dissertation, I am bringing this to you all. You saw it here first!  My idea for a screenplay that will make me lots of money so I can pay off some school loans and maybe buy an apartment where my mom and I could live in relative comfort together.  (My mom is 84 and lives in the walk-up apartment where I grew up.  I live in a walk-up in Brooklyn.  She needs to have  a hip-replacement surgery.  You all can do the math….)

Maybe I can even have some left over clams to donate to my organization. (But my org. would have to agree to use it efficiently and effectively to bolster our research and evaluation department.  Which may entail getting rid of some barnacles).  Note the sea theme thus far?

Sometime recently, 3 fully grown adults decided to kidnap a small shark (a sharknapping) and wrapped her up in a wet blanket and strolled out of the aquarium that was her home in a baby carriage. You know. For kicks. See below.

Shark stolen from San Antonio Aquarium is back in her tank – CNN


Isn’t Miss Helen cute?  I feel for her.

Anyway – my movie would be called Miss Milly’s Revenge.  Based on poor Miss Helen’s plight.  In a world where Sharknado has multiple sequels that someone actually paid to make, Miss Milly’s Revenge has a chance to make a mark (or shark, in this case).

The film begins with the sharknapping.  Miss Milly is brought to the home of one of the thieves, and unceremoniously placed in a tank in the basement of his house.

At first, she is very sad.

But slowly, she gets very mad.  VERY MAD.  All that anger causes some chemical reaction and she grows bigger and bigger.  So big she smashes out of the tank.  She also is now able to move around outside of water.  A landshark.


Slowly, she goes up the stairs.  It is midnight, and everyone is fast asleep.  She finally makes it all the way up the the bedroom.  The thief is snoring away. She stands over his bed.

drip. drip. drip.

The thief wakes up, there is water drops plopping on his face.  He opens his eyes and in horror sees Miss Milly looking over him.  She whispers, “land shark” and attacks!

She wreaks havoc all over the neighborhood, hunting down the other two thieves and all those unlucky enough to get in her way.  But really, all she wants it to be back home in the aquarium.  She misses her friends and her routine.

Think Gremlins, meets Jaws, with a dash of Carrie and The Ring.

Finally, Miss Milly is caught.  As dawn breaks she becomes smaller and smaller and much more manageable.  She also needs to be back in water.  Landsharkness only happens at night and when she is unhappy and really, really mad.

She is brought back to her home aquarium.  She is seen happily swishing her tail.

But at the very, very end, we see she has birthed millions of tiny baby sharks.  In toilet bowls, sewers, regular goldfish camps, ponds and puddles throughout the neighborhood!

And THAT is why her name is Milly.  And THAT is her REVENGE!

Just when you thought it was safe to be swimming around doing your own thing …We hear the Jaws music; see a HUGE 5-fingered HAND splashing into the water trying to grab you.

See? The horror is really that someone would do that to you.  We have Milly’s POV.

Do you all think this idea has “bite” (chuckle chuckle laugh laugh)?  If so, do not forget to give me mad props and credit where credit is due.

OK.  Back to dissertation now.


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