London called!

28 Jul

And I answered.  I was away for a mini-whirl-wind tour of London and Paris, visiting some very very VERY good friends.   It was awesome, and exactly what I needed to gain some perspective.

I am actually seriously considering moving to London in a year or two, despite the gloomy weather.  (Although I heart heart heart NYC and it is my true blue home. But I digress…)

And I deleted my online profile before I left.  After that yucky email from Mr. Teeth, I was left with SUCH a bad taste in my mouth.  I really thought about it, and concluded, “I just do not want to do this anymore!”

And you know what?  I feel GREAT!

I had a few revelations about my particular online dating adventures, and although I do not regret having attempted it, I took a good, long, hard look at the facts and concluded:

1) I have not had the best experiences meeting men online.

2) Something about being a woman online makes men* (*heterosexual men* ) think (maybe unconsciously, but definitely erroneously) that she is “too” available – even if these same dudes  are looking for someone that is available and interested in having a relationship.  It is hard for me to put into words, and it is only my opinion based on my experiences.  But,  it was a bit of a light-bulb moment for me.  And it finally made sense as to why kind of normal, regular nice guys can all of a sudden kind of act like pricks when you begin interacting with them in the online world.  In other words, if a guy spots you at a party or through a friend, there isn’t a little sign over your head (or caption under your chin) saying “I am interested in meeting someone, and that someone could be you!” (Not that this is my profile slogan, but you get the gist of what I am saying.)

Instead, he has to wonder, has to ask, has to talk to you, approach you – and that gives you the chance to get a gut sense of whether he is worth your time or not.

Even if it is a blind date/set-up sort of thing, a friend is usually brokering the situation – like “oh, I think you two may get along.”  It is not like you, as the “available woman”, are acting as your own broker.

Again, hard for me to explain.  And this is not to say that maybe in a year or two I may change my mind.  But by then, I may be in London.  And the bottom line is that I have a sneaky suspicion that the guy for me most likely is not looking for me online.

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One Response to “London called!”

  1. Catherine August 12, 2011 at 12:03 am #

    Interesting… I never thought of the online dating that way. I guess it’s just about choosing the right guys, cause there are some good guys on there and as long as you let them do the chasing once you meet, I think it’s entirely likely to find love online. But, it could depend on paid vs unpaid sites and your location/age/etc.

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