Why is it rainy and cold?…and now it is sunny.

10 May

It is May!  I can deal with Spring showers – but it is cold outside.  I had to wear my coat this morning.  I am not feeling this weather….

I actually started writing this last week.   But today, it is beautiful, sunny, and warm in NYC.  I take this as just another little sign, evidence of how nothing is static, and the only constant is change.  I do not know why it has taken me almost 40 years to finally allow something so simple and obvious to just sink in to my being, and not be fearful of  it.

Yes, things get shitty – but then they get better, and then they get shitty again.

I just do not want to waste time anymore – you know?  The last decade of my life went by in a flash, although I remember the moments that dragged on forever.   Take for instance last year, when I moved out of my flat after I ended my relationship with the X.  I felt like I was living in Williamsburg for MONTHS!!!!!!!!

In reality, it was more like 3 weeks.

When you are suffering, depressed, anxious, grieving. etc…. you just try to get by. Each second is an hour, each hour a week, each week a month.  You try wading through molten lead.  With a sack of potatoes on your head.  And concrete bricks attached to the soles of your feet. To get one step closer.

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