Day Eight

29 Apr

Oddly enough, I just realized that if said quickly enough – it sounds like “date.”  Something that I have not done in a while, and am still quite skeptical of.

I was out with a friend last night, and she clearly articulated what I am sure many of us in our late 30’s feel – “I do not want to date, I want a relationship.”

Yup.  But whatevs.  I am aware that you need to date in order to find someone to have a relationship with.  But I am no longer interested (or feel it NECESSARY) to put too much time or effort into it.  An adequate amount is OK, but really, I am just trying to live my life, and enjoy the things I have.

That is not to say that I am not still open to the online dating thing, or being set up, yadda yadda – but am not looking too sift through all the sand 9even the sand that is littered with garbage and crushed beer cans) to see if I can pan for a little bit of (fool’s) gold.

I talked to one dude a few nights ago that I had been emailing with off and on…as soon as homeboy started with all-too-adamant “I” statements (as in “I am a provider, I am stable but my ex is bi-polar, blah blah”) and launched into some child custody issues, this I decided to politely, but firmly, end the conversation.

Even though he said he would call me again to set up our first date, he has not, as of yet done so.

And for this, I am pretty psyched.  A few years ago, even after noticing some red flags, I would have dropped the dude an email by now, thanking him for the conversation and letting him know that I was looking forward to hanging out.

No more of that nonsense, thank you very much.  Only the serious and stable and ready need apply, and I am not going to make it remotely easier or even slightly tempting for those that are in no place to be in a relationship with me to step up to the plate.  Baby-mama drama?  No thanks.

There is one guy that I have been corresponding with lately…I find myself smiling each time I read his emails.   He seems nice, and a bit shy.  We will see if he is a candidate.

Today is day 8 – no cigs, and no booze.  Feels pretty good.  But I sometimes see people on the street, walking with a cigarette in hand, and I want to weep.

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4 Responses to “Day Eight”

  1. ifUseekAmy April 29, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    “I do not want to date, I want a relationship.”

    THAT is exactly how I feel.

    Kudos on 8 days without cigs and alcohol!!!

    • goyagrrl May 2, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

      Thanks girl! Taking it day by day. Hope you are hanging in, too! It is a process, but one that only leads to better things, I promise! At least that is what I keep telling myself;)

  2. Struggling Dad May 3, 2011 at 6:23 am #

    Good luck with the no booze/cigs commitment. Hope you stick with it all the way.

    I’ve heard it quoted that about 1 person in 100 is ‘good enough’ to marry, that is, an average person dating 100 random people would (apart from being very tired and confused) probably find someone who is ‘good enough’

    It seems like an awfully small number to me.

    • goyagrrl May 3, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

      Thanks – so far, so good. It is day 11! At this point, I am trying to keep it simple – not worry too much about the “good enough”-ness of another person and focus on being the best that *I* can be. Hey, a little cheesy – but it is definitely more manageable than dating 100 (more) random people.

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