Archive | February, 2011


23 Feb

You know, if you make it a point of emphasizing in your online profile that you are a real grammar snob (“I am a bit of a grammar nut and own (and have read) multiple style guides…”) and highlight that your commitment to writing and style can possibly lead to the deaths of furry creatures (“…god kills a kitten every time someone says “your” instead of “you’re”….”), PLEASE do not send a prospective date the following email in response to a well written, grammatically correct, and all around easy-to-understand email.

I give you all this example.  Mr. Grammar Nut and I have exchanged a few emails.  My last one mentioned my ability to cook paella from scratch.  This is what I received from Mr. Grammar Nut in response,

“I have no doubt that your other qualities (paella really? I am salivating right now).
How the upcoming week for you?”

Huh?  WTF?  You know I own a cat.  Maybe you correctly used “your” but you left me hanging with that first sentence.  And I do not even want to know what happens to kittens if you forget an apostrophe+s when you want to ask “how is” quickly and casually.

So….yeah.  Note to any guys that make it a point of tooting their own horns regarding their mastery of the English language (or anything else for that matter) on a public forum: make sure you can actually do it.  If not, do not include it in your profile.  Aside from erroneously advertising, you run the risk of being called out (anonymously, of course) on the blogs of many annoyed single-and-looking peeps.


Origins and blessings

16 Feb

Lately I have been thinking lots about the reasons why I originally began blogging.  I also recently read Melanie Thernstrom’s amazing memoir, The Pain Chronicles, and her work made me think about the blessings I can count from the painful path that led me to where I am, right now, right here in my life.

So I am taking on a self-imposed challenge.  Although Wednesday is still Ventsday, I am going to come up with 100 blessings that have resulted from the things that have been oh-so-not-wonderful in the last couple of years of my personal journey.

#1)  Faced demons and survived.  Continuing to do so.  Demons slowly losing power and ability to frighten.  For this, I am blessed, even if I really had to go through some sh*t in order to get here.  If I didn’t, I think I would still be afraid, and even worse, afraid to admit that I feel fear.

I wanna go home….I don’t want to stay!!!!!!!!!!!!

11 Feb

The Headmaster Ritual

Wednesday Ventsday

9 Feb

Hello all.

The last few days have gotten me a bit down.  What else is new.  I actually am trying to remain more optimistic than not in this new year, so I have to figure out a way to honor and give time to the completely valid feelings of loneliness, and fear and sadness that I experience from time to time, without being completely sucked into a vortex of woe-is-me-dom.  Thus, I am instituting Wednesday Ventsday – the day I (and you) get to vent, feel blue and forlorn, without any need to try to “see the bright side” or keep a stiff upper lip and a high chin.  It is hump day, and I think this may be a good way of getting over the hump, without making the whole week a series of increasingly growing molehills-into-mountains.

Here goes.

As you all know, I have decided to give up on dating.

Well…..This is not 100% true -as I remain open to meeting people.  And I admit, as I am in graduate school and do not own a television, I often find myself procrastinating school work and research by watching streaming videos on Netflix and perusing the profiles on Match, OKCupid, and How About We.  The problem with this is that I:

a) do not do my work

b) watch a lot of crappy stuff (hence defeating the purpose of getting rid of my tv)

c) wink and say I am intrigued and drop the proverbial hankie of the digital age at lots of randoms…

Because I am bored.  And a little anxious.  And a bit sad.

I began to curb this behavior.  I stopped all that nonsense.  Take this past weekend, for example.   I had been corresponding with two different people and it became glaringly apparent that one was unable to spell (he referred to his “son” as his “sun” and not in metaphorical way) and mentioned that his memory was poor (and here I am paraphrasing….”not as bad as the guy in Memento, but along those lines.”….).  The  other guy clearly was more interested in just emailing and nothing more.

I just stopped.  I called off meeting Mr. Memento, and never responded to Mr. I Do Not Want’s last email.  (It is not like he was actually engaging with me anyway, he was always simply listing the things he had done during the day, over the weekend, etc…)

And then I really started to feel bored, and anxious and sad – because I was like – is THIS all there is?  Men who cannot spell, don’t remember, and do not want?  Sounds alot like the ex, but he could at least spell.

And then I got a Quiver Match from OKCupid that ACTUALLY made me quiver.  His profile was so heartwarming and HONEST and open, that I went against my usual MO and wrote to him first.  What got me all giddy and quivery?  Well, he mentioned being serious about marriage and children and possibly being a foster parent, and all of these wonderful things that left me thinking – “WOW – he DOES exist!  AND he can spell.  And he does want the same things I want, with similar values.”

Have not heard anything, but I saw that he viewed my profile.  So I feel like a BIG FAIL….

I know, I should not take it personally.  It is ok to feel sad and bad and anxious at times.  And feel defeated and rejected….but only on Wednesdays, from now on.

You know what makes me feel better, though?   Really, just absolutely f*cking great!?!


And listening to David Sedaris read Santaland Diaries.

Doing both religiously as of late.

Happy New Year – Again!

3 Feb

Today kicks off the the Chinese Lunar New Year – the year of the Rabbit! (Or is it the year of the Cat?  See –

Regardless, out with the Tiger!!!  According to my thoroughly unscientific research (see below), this new year is one to be filled with peace and tranquility, as opposed to the rages and ravages of last year.

All sounds good to me.  What a relief.

So, put on some red, and hop on out (no pun intended.  ok, well maybe a little…)to some celebratory festivities if at all possible.

And dim sum.  Mmmmm. Dim sum.

Is it my year?

Or my year?