Mr. Normal.

18 Jan

OK – so here goes.  I had a relatively interesting MLK weekend.  Date number two with Mr. Normal (the widower with 11 year old twins) was a bit of a letdown    Out of nowhere, we got into a heavy discussion about our, shall we say primary, interests in dating.  It seems that for him, it is about having a nice, easy breezy time – i.e. sexy times.  And that he is NOT interested in:

1) marriage or  “even a living-together situation”

2) more children (i.e. is actually scheduled to have a vasectomy in a few weeks)

Did I fail to mention that this was only our second date?  I could not really respond to such heavy info given my slightly inebriated state, and the fact that this was all revealed to me right after being asked how I felt about taking our smooching to either his home or mine and “messing around naked.” (The quotes, ARE quotes.  This is verbatim what was said to me by a 42 year old adult male!)

Granted, I like sex, I really do – but somehow, all this was really unappealing to me.  At this point in my life, and after my last relationship – I realize that I want an adult relationship, not just repeated sexual encounters with no future in sight, and definitely not a relationship where either party is setting themselves up for some serious compromises from the get-go.

Yes, I get horny at times.  Yup, sometimes I am lonely. But I do not want JUST a lover.  Not that there is anything wrong with wanting that and that alone.  In fact, I am quite envious of all the people out there that want JUST that, and only that, and are really, truly honestly ok with that.  I want a connection.  I want stability.  I want shared goals and values.  I want love and to be in love.  I want the commitment and the ring, and all the bells and whistles that go with a true partnership.  And I am no longer afraid or embarrassed to admit it and  state it loudly and proudly.

Mr. Normal asked me what I thought about all the info he just shared with me.  In response, I revealed some pretty heavy stuff  myself  (stuff that I have yet to talk about on this blog, but will eventually) having to do with sex, my last relationship, and where I am now in life, and where I am headed.    I called it a night (and am calling it quits the next time we hang out – for LUNCH!).  As we were walking out the bar, Mr. Normal asked if he could continue asking me about coming over to his place.  I asked “you mean tonight?”  He said “No, on another night.”  I was like “Sure, you can ask…”  But as the words were in the process of being voiced, in my head and heart I already knew – the answer will always be no.

Alas, Mr. Normal and I are definitely not a match.

Now, I was slightly down about this the next day, but this is when things started to get interesting.  More on that in my next post.

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2 Responses to “Mr. Normal.”

  1. delightfuleccentric February 1, 2011 at 1:33 am #

    When I was 18, in college, I had a second date tell me that he had had testicular cancer and only had one testicle (said very much in a way that he expected me to find out in a much more “natural” way). I think that even today, that information on a second date would have made me pause, but at 18, I really had no idea how to deal with it….Men and their testicles….

    • goyagrrl February 1, 2011 at 3:17 pm #

      At 18 or 38, it is just too much on a second date. At the same time, better earlier than later, I guess. Yes, men and their testicles….so complicated, and yet so obvious all at the same time;)

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