Marrying Anita

22 Sep

This is an excerpt from a book by Anita Jain.  She is saying this to an ex-boyfriend that has all of a sudden decided to propose to her, now that she is happily with someone else.  The words resonate for me – having had my own ex- resurface, I began to question – “Did I make it all up?  Was I just being too picky?  Was I the one that was creating the madness?” Then I remember.  No, I was just involved with a manipulator, one that never could fess up to his flaws, and never would apologize.  He would just “thank you thank you thank you” away to throw one off his trail.

“It’s like this….You have always thought that your manhood was constituted by, or rested on, your intellectualism, or your education, or your family pedigree, or your job, or even your prep-school-boy good looks, but I guess what you’re realizing, now that someone else is making me happy by simply being nice to me, is that your manhood was actually never defined by those things.  You are less of a man because you didn’t want to be nice to your girlfriend.”

At least her ex actually proposed by asking “Will you marry me?” (and since he actually does, versus “pretend” that he did, he does not have to then go on and on about how he cannot believe that his “betrothed” cannot “remember” being proposed to.  Because you never actually did it,  you jackass!)

At least her ex owns up to his shortcomings and disregard for her during the relationship, and apologizes profusely and seemingly with intent.

So, yup.  I did not make it up, or create it.  And thankfully, my memory is still pretty good.


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