Let the right one in.

18 Aug

It wasn't me! My passport was feeling peckish!

I gotta tell you – some of the emails I receive in response to my online profile have me just plain old perplexed and flummoxed.

I give you this: 

“do you watch true blood on hbo, i wanna true blood ua !!!!!lol !!!!!!!!!” 

Really? This is what you want to do to me?

Umm.  Nowhere in my profile does it say that I am into vampires or have a blood fetish, although I do mention “Let the Right One In” as one of my favorite flicks.  AND what is so god-dang-it funny that this guy is  LOL-ing all over the place?  I am not even chuckling. I am slipping on a necklace of garlic and deleting. 

Then there is this one: 

“Summer is almost over….

Aug. 17, 2010 – 10:27am …and I have reached the uncomfortable conclusion that I’ve spent another season alone.

HI, I’m *****. I have really enjoyed reading your posting, and would love to get to know you.

Please look at my profile; I’m sure you’ll find some things in common.

Have a great week; I hope to hear from you. ”

Well, I know one thing that we do NOT have in common.  I am not “uncomfortable” with being alone. 

Next up- for your enjoyment: 

“You have an enthralling profile

Aug. 16, 2010 – 7:02pm … you have a very eye catching profile indeed.
As much as you do not seem to be an archetypal NY woman, I am miles from being your typical NY raised brat.
I am a passionate and respectful man. Figuring out where the funny missing minutes go and at the same time proving to have at least a couple of neurons well connected, you are welcome to judge.
While I am traveling a bit for business (Canada day trips lately), I try to leave it mostly for fun and pleasure. I carry a passport hungry for stamps. Obviously you do too.
I look forward to talking to you
PS. I am very curious aboutyour post and when you explain me about it I’ll tell you where you misspelled 😛
PS2: Hablo perfectamente español, porque nací en Buenos Aires”

FEED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow!  I am clearly special and not at all “archetypal” but need to be blackmailed in order to get some help with my spelling in Spanish.  Somehow, aside from the grammatical errors, this young gentleman thinks he is the one for such a task!  And respectful and passionate to boot!  Judgemental?  Maybe.  But he has a hungry passport.  

My passport is not, however. 


Finally, I received a wink and a “hello”  from “murcielago” – Spanish for “bat”.  There seems to be a general theme here.  Hunger, vampires, bats, discomfort in one’s own skin.  Who would’ve thunk that the undead needed help from OKCupid to score dates!

One, one misspelling. Two, two typos. Three, three grammatical errors!

Bauhaus: Bela Lugosi’s Dead


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