It is a beautiful sunny day in NYC. After a few days of rain and gloomy and less-than-warm weather, the clouds have gone, and my spirits have lifted. I have received some smirk and smile inducing emails from contender #1 (honestly, the only contender. I like the guy, ok? I just do!) and my friends and I are going away for a long weekend and classes are starting and I am actually excited about them, even if they are stats classes! I am a big nerd.
I think I must suffer from a mild form of seasonal affective disorder. But only when it is a sudden shift from what has been going on seasonally, EVEN if that sudden shift is an improvement but is not what one would NORMALLY expect during that season. In other words, just as rainy, cold and gloomy weather during August will send me into the doldrums, so will unseasonably bright and 90 degree weather in say, February. I know.
I also am confronting my tendency to ruminate about past grievances with the X. I have decided that from now on, whenever I notice that I am going down that path, I am just going to say to myself “Stop – it is OVER, let it go. Everyone go and live in peace”
I just don’t need a constant relationship replay looping as a background to my thoughts for most of my waking moments, anymore. At first, it was a necessary process for me because I was finally allowing myself to really evaluate the things that I had been avoiding during the relationship. But now, it is done.
I have so many better things to concentrate on, and happily they do not NOT sap my energy.