Dates, Faints, and Mishaps

28 Jul

I went out on my first date since the break-up a few nights ago.  It was a Monday, and I had taken the day off from work.  I had gotten home late the night before from a weekend trip to Philly for a family reunion of sorts (more about THAT in another post.)  I had the next few days off from work because I was scheduled for surgery on Tuesday AM.  When I woke up on Monday, I thought – maybe I should take today as a “mental health day” and get into the right frame of mind for my date.  I do not know if this was a good idea or not, because I spent most of the day reading and eating chips and chocolate.  By the time I made it to meet my date, I was in the mood for a real meal, but figured a drink beforehand could not hurt, especially a Guinness, since that is like a meal onto itself.  And anyway, if my date and I did not really dig each other, it would not be too painful to call it quits after one drink.

oh, woe, swoon

Big mistake.  One pint turned into three.  By then, I was like “I need some pizza” but date had to go home to get up early at 5AM. I thought “ok, I can get some pizza on my way home, it is still early.” But then date and I decided to walk to my train station.  And then we kissed good-bye, and kissed some more.  And then, I fainted and busted open my chin.

This is by far the most mortifying thing that has ever happened to me on a first date.  And I am a 38-year-old woman.

The next morning, I had my eye surgery.  I had a bandage on my chin, and then a swollen eye.  I now look like something out of Fight Club.  Except this is not a movie.  This is my very real life.

I wonder if date and I will hang out again, without any gashes or wounds ensuing.  We have set tentative plans for Friday.

Me as Brad


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