Idle minds are the devil’s Facebook.

15 Jul

Immediately after my break-up, I locked up shop on Facebook and took a “hiatus” from my account.  Turned off my profile.  I did not want to have to explain my switch in “status” and I most certainly did not need any cyber stalking from the X.  But because I was no longer a member of the FB community, I could not take a peek to see what the X was up to…. And that was all fine for me, until curiosity got the best of this cat.

arigato gato!

My  friend T is in town and staying with me.  She was showing me pics on her account.  One thing led to another and we landed on the X’s page.  Get this – his updates include such lovely insights as “Nothing beats April in Prospect Park! I should know, I have tried” and “mmm. Korean BBQ at Prospect Park” and others along those lines.

I find it INFURIATING!  And what kills me, is that it actually gets to me.  This guy spent all his time going on and on about how life in this city sucks, and he hated the people in the neighborhood, and how in San Francisco he felt so  much better.  AND NOW, he is madly in love with all the finer things that this zip code has to offer.  Mind you, he always did like the park.  What is not to like.  But really.  REALLY?

Another lame-o update involved his clueing everyone in to the fact that he was babysitting two small children of a friend.  Again, infuriating.  He was always saying how he never wanted to be like “S” (the dad of the two, and supposedly his very good friend) and blah blah blah, going on and on incessantly about how much he disdained the stay-at-home-dads he knew.  That he would never be around for his kids because he was going to be traveling for work all the time, and he was going to be the “provider”.   And now, he is Mr. Mom?  PLEASE.  He was all grumpy faced and sour the whole time we babysat my cute little “nephew”.  Just a big phony.  I know this sounds like I am a 1950’s housewife with shellacked hair and am exhaling smoke from some lipstick-stained Merits, but it is the truth.

I think the reason that this has kicked up so much stuff for me, is that it is all a persona – the EXACT persona I encountered when we first met, the one that I fell in love with, thinking it was really his authentic self.  I think even HE wanted his persona to be his true self.  But sadly, no…. It is disturbing.  And why I am so wary of meeting anyone online ever again.

In this blog world, I am completely anonymous.  No one knows me (except my friends that tune in) and I am not posting any incriminating information.  But, it is so difficult to distinguish the “real” from the carefully and subtly crafted profiles, not just the online dating ones, but the Twitters and Facebooks and Myspaces.  Until you meet and see the red flags, you think that people are spending their time singing lullabies to the little ones, and smelling fresh grass after the rain, and cooking up healthy organic meals, and hosting fabulous dinner parties charged with great intellectual conversation.  HOGWASH!  Then again, I saw those red flags flapping furiously right up in my face early on, and I was already hooked. So……


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