Ex-mail

1 Jun

Over the weekend, I received an email from my ex.  Similar to the letter I recently received from him, the tone alternated between sincerely graceful and appreciative, and manipulative and condescending.  Reading the email brought instant tears to my eyes, and yet, it also left a cold, slightly nauseous feeling in my stomach.  It was a feeling I often felt while I was in the relationship. 

According to my ex, he has made vast improvements in his life-style, and is really taking care of his mental health.  I am so proud of him, and I am truly glad that he is doing this courageous work.  But I do not want to be involved anymore, and I am also highly doubtful that deep, lasting change can occur so rapidly (two months). 

In the email, he asks for some of the things he left behind – business cards to be exact.  I kind of just want to send his stuff in the mail – and prefer not to have any contact with him.  I worked so hard during the relationship, and now that it is over, I am just exhausted and do not want to put in any effort other than what it takes to heal myself, and deal with my own grief.  And I feel like he is baiting me to attend to his needs all over again, and using the fact that I ended the relationship as a way of guilt-tripping me into communication , and I am just not comfortable with communicating with him yet (if ever again).  How should I handle this?  Any thoughts?

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