Gossip Girl Philosophy

25 May

Soooo pretty!

Yes.  I am 38 and I watch Gossip Girl and love every delicious guilty-pleasure second of it.  Because it takes me far, far away from my life.  However, on my train ride in to work this morning, as I was crossing over the Brooklyn Bridge on this glorious spring day, feeling hung over (yes, that feeling that signals “your brain did not receive enough oxygen”) from smoking too many cigarettes yesterday and having a sore throat from said too many cigarettes, and feeling overwhelmingly down about everything, including my being 38 and watching Gossip Girl, I realized – GG does apply to me!  See, when I was younger I would have fallen for Dan – except, a wee bit too late.  

Smart. Confusing. Too little, too late.

 Dan would have been my quirky guy friend that has a crush on me.  When I realize that he has the crush, I feel stunned and a bit icky.  But then, I start to fall for him.  Much too late, as Dan has moved on.  Me, sad.  And scene.

Now as an adult (HA!) I have repeatedly fallen for the Chuck B-asses (pun intended) of the world.  Yes, the bad boy with the heart of gold.  X is the KING of Chuck Basses, but without the money.  I, like Blair, think – he will get it together, for me.  And, oh!  How they really, really want to get it together for the women that they love and adore.  But, like CB with BW, can never really get over their own issues regarding Daddy, and work, and making money, and being  a worthy provider, and blah blah blah I need to prove that I am GREAT…to just enjoy having someone love them, and enjoy loving someone in return without drama, trauma, and tragedy.  Oh, I feel for the Chuck Basses of the world.    Such heart, such potential. 

Serious NPD going on here.

Not enough. And poor Blair.  She thought that he would never sell her out, but he did, literally.  The Chuck Basses of this world will continually try to have you jump through hoops of fire for them, to prove how strong your love is, that it is otherworldly, etc.  But for every hoop you jump through, there is another one, and another, and another, each time with flames brighter and brighter, hotter and hotter.  It is only a matter of time before you are burned to a crisp loving this sort of individual.

But then, and if you are still with me, there is a point to all this – there are the Nate Archibald’s of the world.  Now, I have never given the NAs in my life the time of day – probably because I thought they would never be interested in me.  So I never even stopped to look twice.  I mean, I have so ridiculously thought that an NA would not be into me, that I have never even been relatively heart-splintered by one, forget about heartbroken.  With Nate, I think – “nah, he is too pretty, too dumb, too nice, wears his heart on his sleeve…”

Do you hear that?  That is the sound of my hand smacking up against my own forehead.  What the FREAKING F**K is wrong with me?  I am not even giving a guy a chance ON TV because I think he is too good-looking, too nice, actually is in touch with his feelings, wants to communicate with his partner and share the fun things in life with her, AND maybe is not the smartest guy on the planet, but is very intelligent in that he knows what accounts for real beauty in relationships (romantic, platonic, and with family) and life?  Caring about and for someone sometimes at his own expense is Nate’s only downfall.

I am switching it up in my late 30s.  I am all about giving the Nate Archibald’s of this world a chance.  I am all about giving ME a chance with a Nate Archibald. And I have Gossip Girl to thank.

You know you love me.

X NO X NO

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