stolen goods.

10 May

As I slowly begin to adjust to my life again, and feeling comfortable, and at peace, in my own home, I have noticed a number of missing objects from the apartment.  And what is even stranger are the things that the X decided to leave in their stead (well, my interpretation of his behavior.  One can never really know with him.)

Missing objects: My favorite bookshelf since I was a child, one of my favorite framed posters since college, a fold-up card table, family photos (MY family), my comforter and new duvet (granted, the duvet was for “us”, but instead he left his comforter.  Why?), a library book that I am now going to have to pay for, three milk bottles filled with change, my yerba mate bombilla and straw.  Those are the things I have noticed thus far.

Objects left: Bed, dresser (bought for him), mirror, chairs, dish rags, bookshelves (bought for him),  cedar chest (given to him by an ex), desk (co-bought), closet solution (co-bought).  What I do not understand is why take the things that were clearly not his?  I specifically said he could have anything that we bought together, and to have all his own stuff out. 

I feel petty about all this, but now that I am recovering from the relationship I see that I was always making excuses for his inappropriate behaviors and actions.  And even more so, for his clear lack of boundaries.  So is this just another manifestation of that same dynamic?  He has done something that is NOT OK.  Do I say something and possibly open up Pandora’s Box?  Let it go and say goodbye to certain things that have deep sentimental value?

Any thoughts? There are a bunch of things of his that are at my mom’s house from when he was working from there, and a box of his photos that we had stored in the closet.  I initially was just going to mail them to his mother’s house so that I would not have to directly contact him.  But now I am torn.  Do I contact him and say “Hey, you left some stuff that I have a feeling you would want.  And you inadvertently packed some of my things while moving.  So please send me my stuff and I will send you yours.”  Ugh!

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2 Responses to “stolen goods.”

  1. girlcalledlily May 13, 2010 at 2:50 pm #

    This is just one opinion, but I feel that if some furniture and photos constitute the price you have to pay to be in a new and better place, than so be it. In the end, stuff is just stuff.

    If you want to contact him for an exchange, well you never know, it could work out just fine. But I’d be prepared to let go of the things, and make room in your life for the new and fresh opportunities.

    • goyagrrl May 17, 2010 at 7:39 pm #

      I agree. I am resigned to seeing all this through. Right now, I a hopeful that at some point I will start to see this whole experience as the beginning of a new, better chapter in my life. But right now, I just feel awful. I recently returned from a trip – a great distraction. But coming back home to an empty apartment and the reality of this painful time has been absolutely horrid.

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