Un paso adelante

6 May

I remember feeling like each moment would drag on forever, stuck in mud.  But now I feel like time is flying, moving effortlessly.  It feels great and so………..luscious.  At times I am hit with such profound grief, almost like I have been hit in the face, smack, out of nowhere, with a flying curveball.  But overall, I wake up – happy, like myself again.  I look forward to seeing friends, and coming home at night to a peaceful space.  I am happily anticipating my future once again, and ok with the here and now.  I may even, maybe….maybe…have a crush.

And, I am doing much better with the cigarettes.  No toxic relationship stress = no cravings= no smoking- although I did have three last night with my best friend since high school while celebrating Cinco de Mayo – those margaritas!  What a trigger!

It is strange though – my ex has taken odd things from the apartment, things that were definitely mine and had sentimental value for me.  A bookshelf that has been with me since I was a kid.  A poster from Spain that I have had since college.  But they are things, and may not be worth my contacting him for them.

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