Last night

27 Apr

I am happy to report that my first night back in my apartment was relatively easy, and I was able to sleep in my own bedroom, and rest.  I know that this may not always be the case, but I was so anxious yesterday.  I am committed to reclaiming my space, and my life, including sticking to my quit date of May 1st.   The funny thing is that what makes me most anxious about quitting is not the actual quitting, and I do not really get cravings per say.  It is that I fear not being able to resist when I have dark thoughts about the relationship and my future.  But then again, if I feared not being able to face those fears “alone” I could have easily then turned to staying in the relationship, as opposed to turning to smoking.  And both are equally as unhealthy and toxic.  So as I did with my relationship, I will finally do with smoking, and take that plunge.

Wish me luck and much strength and perseverance!

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